Day 36

Gros finally checked her grades from last semester.

Gros finished Dragon Age.

Erin spent all day working on one blog post. And her nephews came over. It was adventurous.

"Why do you live here?" "Why is your house so small?" "Why is she dead?" "Why does he have long hair?" "Did she turn them to ice?" "Is that the bad guy?" "Nuh uh, he's a dragon." "Why do you have so many plants?" "Stop singing!" "NO SINGING unless you sing frosty the snowman!"

So they sang frosty the snowman.

Beth did nothing different than last Tuesday.

Day 35

Happy Memorial Day.

We celebrated Memorial Day by visiting the Provo Cemetery. We wandered around for a while, reading the names and dates on the gravestones. There were some happy ones, where old couples were buried together (presumedly having lived long, glorious lives); and there were some sad little ones, for lost children, tombstones that had only one date written upon them. It was a quiet time, a time to think about life and death and love. A time to remember.

It was not all we did today, however. Grosland got that job at the lake (*much rejoicing*) so today she filled out a lot of state employee paperwork and ordered her Park Ranger Aide uniform (*geeky grin*). Beth didn't have to work or go to school today, so she did other responsible things, like cleaning the apartment. Erin put gas in her car (since she keeps having to give Grosland rides) and did some work on her other blog. All in all, a good afternoon.

Since it's Monday, that means we had Family Home Evening again. Only, this time, it was at OUR apartment! (We had some fun times explaining to people our decorations: "Yes, that's a real raccoon head. His name is Marmalade;" "The lava lamp is Grosland's. Do you like it?" and "Of course our TV is wearing a hat!") We played Do You Love Your Neighbor? and learned lots of things about our family. For instance - we have two members of our family who have gone streaking; every single member of our family has seen Monty Python; Grosland is the only member of the family who still hasn't had her first kiss; half the guys in our family speak French; and none of us is from the East Coast. Also, we met our fake mom's mistress. (She's engaged. Our fake dad likes to call her on it a lot.)

This chronicle entry would not be complete without describing Beth's phone difficulties, which came to an amusing climax today. Here is the story:

Beth is a phone loser. She loses her phone ALL THE TIME. About ten days ago, Beth lost her phone for good. She called it, she searched every place she'd been in months, but it was not to be found. After almost a week, she finally gave up and ordered a new phone (well, it's the same model, but it's new . . . you know what I mean). She got her new phone over the weekend, and by Sunday night - guess what? It was lost too. (*Erin and Grosland laugh exasperatedly*) We spent part of this morning retracing Beth's steps in Springville to see if we could find it, but to no avail. Finally, Erin found it under the driver's seat in Beth's car. Hurray! Beth was pleased, until she tried using her phone to text/call some people and it told her that her service was cancelled. She was really confused for a moment before she realized:

It was her old phone. It had been under the driver's seat the entire time.

O_o

Grosland and Erin find it rather amusing. Beth seems unsure whether to laugh or cry. (Read her telling of the story here.) She re-activated the service on her phone, so it is happily working now. She'll be able to return the replacement phone she bought and get her $50 back.

That is, if she ever finds it.

Day 34

Dagfraggit!

It's a good thing Erin stays up obscenely late, eh? Otherwise there would be nobody to write a hasty post at 1 in the morning when the other two forget.

Of course, being that it IS 1 in the morning, there is just about no way Erin is going to be able to write anything coherent about our activities today. Instead, please accept a random sequence of words:

Flamingo. Blender. Patio. Incredulity. Luminous. Machete. Toast. Bodacious. Cushion. Alphabetical. That. Narcolepsy. Million. Everywhere. Insatiable. Stairwell. Leg. Five dollars. Snifter. Resuscitate. Frank. Jacket. Ceiling. Hornet. Cooperate. Kinkajou. Explosion. Indemnify. Raucous. Scuba. Alligator. Myth. Burlesque. A shovel. Devour. Underneath. Twice. Up. Yes. Until. Because. Nebulous.

That ought to do it. Good night all. Or morning. Whichever you prefer.

Day 33

*ahem*

Today we went and got groceries.

Beth shouldn't write posts anymore. She is dull. And the way she writes is dull. And her utter dullness seems to leak into these posts and turn them into encyclopedia entries.

Day 32

Back-of-the-Book Blurbs of Today's Happenings:

 That Funny Walk She's Got
Beth Black is the ideal aunt. Her two blonde, blue-eyed nieces - Liberty and Teagan - are ecstatic when she comes to visit them, even if she does bring along her two socially-awkward roommates. The girls want to play hide-and-seek, running pell-mell around the yard, little Teagan hopping hilariously from leg to leg uncoordinatedly. What follows is an amusing and endearing tale of how Beth - who has her own walking impediments, due a tragic exercising accident - learns to be a child again, and share in the childlike awe of bubbles and Disney Princess training wheels.

money.blogspot.com
Erin has had enough of college. After another dreadful semester and a stern letter from the university, she's decided that she needs to explore other options if she's going to find a career that doesn't make her want to gouge her eyes out. Finally seizing her own destiny, she decides to write. She goes back to the blog she's had since high school - an idle interest - and completely redesigns it, turning it into a money-making entrepreneurship. Her story is one of defying expectations, ignoring the voices of doubt and conventionality, and striking out to make her own happiness. And - hopefully - money.

The Interview at the Lake
Jessica is a very poor college student, who longs to get out of the place she's grown up in and really see the world. She has the chance to go to Russia in August, but unless she gets a job she won't be able to afford the trip. Thanks to a tip from an old friend, she's found out about a job opening at the lake. She shows up at the interview and meets two strange characters - a hectic-looking woman named Charity, and a quiet man from the State Wildlife Department who owns a decontamination tent. The results of that interview will dramatically change her summer - and possibly, the rest of her life - in this charming story of humorous adventures, rediscovering old ties, and quagga mussels.


So...yes. There you have it. That is what we did for most of the day. The last seven hours or so, however, were entirely occupied with . . . well, this picture ought to sum it up:

(*singing*) 21 JUMP ... STREET!

Day 31

Dear Robin, yes, I am making them. :) - Beth

ANYWAYS,

Gros is writing this post because she had a life besides neutering Batman:

Yesterday, Grosland went to her little sister's graduation. It was excellent, filled with bird metaphors (her school mascot is the golden eagle). Such inspiring phrases as "Soar to new heights!" and "Ducks quack, but eagles soar!" were plentiful. It was pretty cheesy, but still cool. Afterward, the family went to dinner and tried to eat enough food to last them 24 hours. (Hurray, Chuck o'rama!)

Then, Grosland got a brand new shiny phone!!! It has secret lights and makes bubble noises when you push the keys, and is - most importantly - a flip phone. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! It ALSO looks very similar to the old communicators from the original Star Trek!

So, imagine this, only silver.

That's my phone.

...

+ 10 to nerd attacks

That was Wednesday. Then THURSDAY, Grosland had another job interview. She interviewed with some manager named Tyler at Arby's (her favorite fast-food joint). Lo and behold, Tyler seemed to think that Grosland has "a wonderful personality" and is "exactly what he's looking for."

And guess what? He offered her the job on the spot!

Yes indeedy! This is a glorious day!

Grosland responded excitedly, but held on to her professionalism. She told Tyler that she has another interview on Friday, and wouldn't know until the weekend whether that was going to work out or not. Tyler was undeterred, and simply asked that Grosland call him as soon as she knows anything about that other job.

So she still has another interview tomorrow, with "the people" from Utah Lake, and her hopes are that THEY'LL want to hire her. But even if they don't, she has now secured a pretty good job at Arby's.

The long and short of it is this: after almost three weeks of job-hunting, hoping and wishing and praying that someone - anyone - would hire her, Grosland has finally emerged from the bleak and daunting tunnel of unemployment. Finally, she has found a job.

And she is very, very happy.

:)

So that's it. Grosland is home now, and all the roomies are happy about it. Beth is in bed being responsible (poor thing); Erin is on her laptop, plotting a story with her cousin Clearing; and Grosland - thanks to her parents' washing machine - is putting away clean laundry.

All is as it should be.

Day 30

Today was a stupid day. At least for Erin and Beth.
Grosland went to her sister's graduation, spent all day away from the apartment, and has yet to report back, so we have no word on her situation, but Erin and Beth definitely had stupid days.

Beth went to school/work as usual. She read two whole books.

Erin sat around and played Dragon Age with her new character (a strapping young mage called James) and spent most of the afternoon giggling by herself on the couch. Then she picked up Beth from work and they went to WalMart and bought socks. And both descended into slow-witted, giggly madness.  A few minutes of standing with a friend in the underwear aisle and guffawing like idiot teenage boys quickly causes one to bring their life into question.

Nobody wanted to cook, so they went to the Pita Pit.

Hopefully the days don't keep going like this, or this blog is going to get very old VERY fast. Don't worry, we'll find something interesting, or mind-bendingly stupid to do for your entertainment soon, readers.

Day 29

Beth is having way too much fun with these.

Anyways! Today was too boring to write about.

Erin went cat-hunting in a field. To no avail. Batman shall not be deprived of his manhood tonight.

The. End.

(We can't always be entertaining. Especially when Gros is gone.)

Here's a moose.

Erin would just like to point out that you can tell who writes a post just by reading it. Your opinion?

Day 28

It was a dark and stormy day. Erin and Beth were very pleased. Gros wanted to punch the weather. (Unfortunately, the weather doesn't have a face.)

Beth was dull. (The inevitable conclusion of responsibility.)

Erin was . . . . with Grosland at FHE! and in the rain! and she made fried chicken!

(On that note, she seems deeply concerned that without her interference, Grosland would never eat anything that didn't come out of a box. Unfortunately, this is probably true.)

Grosland had a job interview which was very far away. She took a bus, and then she walked, and then she interviewed, and then she walked. AND THEN!!!!

It rained. On. Her. Head.

And pretty much everywhere else.

So Erin had to hop in her car and go save the nearly-drowned Grosland. Grosland was very grateful, and very soaked.

THEN, while Beth was STILL being responsible, Grosland and Erin went to Family Home Evening again. They re-learned everybody's names and were taught a fabulous lesson about being grateful for all the freedoms and privileges we all take for granted (like the internet, and cars, and hot water, and being roommates with your two best friends ever). Then they learned a new game - don't worry, it's not nearly as morally-ambiguous as last week's game.

It's called Spaz, and you play it with Uno cards. It's great, and involves a lot of slapping-yourself-in-the-head. But the best part is that you're RACING to slap yourself in the head before everyone else does! There was a lot of laughter, and a lot of flying limbs. Again, this is one we'll have to teach to whoever next comes to our apartment.

Oh! And we forgot to tell you that Erin and Grosland got callings in our new Singles Ward. They're both in the Relief Society: Erin is on the Compassionate Service Committee, and Grosland is on the Activities Committee. Erin has already started fulfilling her calling, and today she went around delivering pick-me-up goodies to in-need sisters in the ward. Grosland is still trying to figure out who her "boss" is, so she can find out what the heck she's supposed to be doing.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, that's all folks!

Day 27

Well. Gros really blew it this time. Three random men came and sang a love (pity) note to us. But their ruckus made her get up and come out for a moment. So she made some commentary for the blog:

"Uhhhhh... that David guy is never gonna remember my name. Sam graduated seminary. *pause* Mmmm... and I have an awesome battle axe now. The end."

Yep. :) Everyone has begun experimenting with Erin's tablet. 0_o Awesome f'awesome. And... Gros is the best at it. Erin is the best at drawing. So Beth is... in the middle. (This seems to happen often.)

Anyways, church was good. Life is good. And boring. But, hey! What else is new?

Erin cheesy grins and has nothing to say.

Beth hopes to get a new phone this week. And a sexy Sherlock Holmes poster. (Or rather... Robert Downey poster. No offense. Beth LOVES the movie, but that is NOT Sherlock Holmes.)

As Gros says, The. End.

Day 26

Funny thing about Saturday is that it's really easy to end up doing absolutely nothing that is in any way productive.

Erin and Beth woke up some time after nine, though it was closer to eleven for Erin (going to midnight movies will do that to you. ) Soon as Erin was up they decided to make muffins. Blueberry, strawberry, blackberry, raspberry, cinnamon, Lucky Charm muffins, if you wish to know. If you're questioning why, refer to this: Link  Otherwise, as Beth would say, "Don't question [us]."
And before you ask, yes, they stayed together, and yes, they were awesome. We're trying again tomorrow cause we forgot some ingredients. 

Erin's older sister got left alone with her two little boys this morning while her husband went off four-wheeling with his brothers, so she joined them as well, and her boys had a grand old time removing all the DVDs from the shelf and stacking them on the laps of whoever was sitting on the couch.

Gros didn't get up till past noon, as she was feeling under the weather. She stayed in her room most of the day, presumably reading. When she finally did come out, after Beth left for work, she and Erin had a very depressing lunch of Ramen and Spaghettios respectively.

And then they were on the couch for the rest of the day doing nothing of consequence. .
Good gravy, we can be dull sometimes...

Day 26

Today everyone did something different.

Beth woke up after... 2.5 hours of sleep... and kept pretending to be asleep until she had to get up. Then she went to class and walked around in misty-rain for two hours and learned another dozen trees. Then she went to work. And... then she came home and watched Erin win DA:2. Then she sat on the couch for... two hours... sorting pictures and cleaning out her camera. Then she took a short (half hour) nap and suddenly woke up and remembered that she was supposed to be hanging out with Greg, Gros, Ric, and Krista. So she did. They had hamburgers. Yep. Please accept this dry paragraph as a sign that it's time for bed.

Grosland (sometimes called Jessica) slept late as usual, and after a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch she did some finding-a-job stuff that she REALLY doesn't want to talk about right now. After that, she did cooler things.

1) She got to the Endgame of Dragon Age: Ferelden is united against the darkspawn; she's just had her final goodbyes with most of her party members; and now she's marching into certain death with only her most trusted comrades. The Archdemon awaits.

2) She registered with the American Embassy in St. Petersburg, (*pretending not to be too pleased with how awesome that sounds*). Her Russia plans seem to be moving apace, despite her sudden and possibly fatal lack of income.

3) She had a late-birthday visit with her family. (Her sister just turned 18!)

4) She found Beth in the apartment, looking dead on the couch, buried under a laptop. She roused said roommate and they ran off to Ric and Krista's house to celebrate the couple's new grill. Grosland also learned the game Shadows Over Camelot, which was delightful in spite of the fact that in the end, everybody died rather miserably.

Erin oozed out of bed after three hours of sleep, and went to work, shaking violently with her eyes barely in focus. Sometime during her shift she suddenly had a massive identity crisis, and frantically searching the internet to find a career path that she might find fulfilling. It is a lot harder than it needs to be to find an EMS certification course around here.

Eventually she calmed down, then went home and played some Dragon Age 2, as mentioned above. She spent the final hour or so of the game exclaiming in horror and frustration as all of her enemies, and nearly half of her allies one-by-one decided that they wanted to be utterly bonkers, and they all started doing their part to make the situation infinitely worse. By the end, Erin could do nothing but stand back and watch the country that she had unintentionally screwed over crumble around her. It was all good though, cause Fenris stayed with her after everybody else abandoned her... as whiny as he is, she sho' does love that broody elf.

Then she got counseling from her sister and brother-in-law about what to do with her future.

And then when she got home, she waited for the other two to come, and then th

ey all sat around in the living room, brains slowly turning more and more into jello. And it took Erin a half hour to write a few short paragraphs. True story. The end. Bed now.

And now some visual depictions of right now sans the giggling coming from the couch behind Beth:

Day 25

What is to be said?

Pirates.

Erin is more than a little upset, because it was awesome, but she was not in any physical or mental condition to enjoy it to its fullest. Sometimes apathy is the most frustrating sensation. The other two got the full effect of the awesome, so Erin will feed off of their enthusiasm for a while until she can see it again in better spirits. Heck if any stupid sleep/food deficiency is going to keep her from reveling in the brilliance of her most beloved Jack Sparrow. Hmmph.

And now to bed before Grosland yells at her again.
Perhaps a more thorough retelling of their adventures at a more reasonable hour, aye?
Until then.

Day 24

Oopsie. Looks like everybody forgot to blog again. Lucky for them, Erin stays awake until obscene hours of the night. You're welcome, guys.

Not much to report today. Erin and Gros bummed around. Erin Dragon Age'd. She and Fenris finally got back together after he broke up with her and then spent three solid years brooding about it.

He's really really good at brooding...

Beth did the usual: School and work.

Erin and Gros went to Gros' little brother's jazz band concert. It was awesome. They played the Sesame Street theme.

The rest of the evening was spent with Gros, Beth, and Erin chilling on the couch, eating key lime pie, and playing with dolls...

Anyway, Wolverine showed up at the door looking to talk to Gros, but she was in bed, so Erin invited him in anyway and they played a couple rounds of Bananagrams. He said he might come back some other time, but he wasn't sure because he didn't ever get Grosland's number so he didn't really know if she was interested. So I guess we'll see. And, of course he asked for Beth's phone number because his good friend Ewan was interested in meeting her. Too bad she doesn't have a phone.

Day 23

Erin killed the Arishok today. It was an epic battle involving strategic figure-eight stratagem and fleeing for life with a bow. Beth's brother William used similar tactics to defeat Sarevok in the final battle of Baldurs Gate. (Except he just ran around and his party shot at Sarevok. Erin had to shoot the Arishok herself.)

"One day... we will return..."

Day 22

Today was FHE. We played "Ducky-Wucky." This game must be played at a later time by our group of friends. Erin called it something inappropriate, and was vehemently told off by Gros. Erin says: "That's what it is." Gros: "It's just a bunch of BYU students trying to have some fun, OKAY?" Aubrey says: "Ducky-wucky was a duck." (Basically, it's a fun and hilarious game of questionable morality.)

In short, it's an awesome get-to-know-you game involving a center individual ("it") who has their eyes closed. They're holding a pillow to their hindquarters, and without looking, they sit on the lap of someone in the circle. The "It" person says, "make the sound of... a... (animal of choice)" at which point the individual being sat upon makes the noise in question. The sitter must then guess which individual from the circle they are sitting on.

Awesome, right? And DEFINITELY NOT A LAPDANCE!!!! (*Gros glares at Erin*)

We met lots of cool people and our family seems really fantastic. They're all really funny and accepted us without question. This only reaffirms Gros's certainty that this ward is going to be THE BEST.

OH! Did we ever show you our Weasley clock? Feel free to come by and see it.

The hands each have our initials on them. Beth was very confused when Grosland wanted a "J" on hers. It took a minute for Grosland to explain "My first name is really Jessica, remember?"

Beth: "Oh yeah!..."

Day 21

Erin is home. She was greeted with a joyous cry of "sup dude?" by Beth when she walked in the door, then they waited for Gros to come home. She eventually swung into the apartment bringing half of a large watermelon and also a turkey with her (Kinda like when somebody comes home all tipsy with a lampshade on their head and toting a bottle of booze, except for it was a turkey and a watermelon instead...)  And then the three spent their evening reveling in their completeness once again...

And then Beth and Gros both proclaimed that they were exhausted and were going to bed, and left Erin alone in the living room to do the post. Like a DOG.

Anyway, The Asay family made it home quite uneventfully; not a raccoon in sight. Though they had to rent a car to get home and ended up getting shoved into a Kia Soul

Aside from having a completely moronic design and NO trunk space, this car is basically the vehicular equivalent of a preppy polo shirt... It even had a California license plate, which somehow enhanced the effect, kind of like popping the collar of the aforementioned polo shirt. Just something about driving in one of those things that makes one feel really pretentious.

Regardless, the trip is now over, and the Asays may or may not get their dear old Camry back. We shall see.

Apparently Grosland went to the Single's Ward today AND to ward choir like a good girl. She actually met people! Human people! With faces and everything! On a somewhat related note, there has been an unsettling epidemic of guys in the apartment complex offering up their roommates as some sort of shady incentive to get girls to come to events.

Beth is still ill and still memorizing plants. She is excused from posting.

Erin is tired too, so it's time to sign off for the night. Ta!

Day 20 (a la Erin)

More graduation happened today. Erin and her brother's spawn got dumped off at a childrens' museum for three or four hours. The result of them being left to their own devices for that long? Beards.

Naturally, upon their return home, they all got lined up on the couch for mug-shots.

Later they went to a graduation barbecue. Erin didn't know anybody, so she spent most of that time dispensing sage advice to her promising young niece (unfortunately, the mustache was gone by then, so the advice was not as sage as it might have been.) Then it was boring and cold, so Erin, Jordan, and sister-in-law Winn all ran away from the party and bought hair dye...

Erin's ended up the same color as our dear high-maintenance witch friend, Morrigan, so she decided to put it in the same style and scowl at the camera.

Anyway, this will be the last night in Nebraska. Tomorrow the family will depart and head back to Utah (in a rental car, seeing how theirs is still rather broken.) The trip has been a good one, but it will be awesome to be back home. If nothing else, Erin and her roommates will be able to stop their long-range pouting. If all goes well, the trio will be posting together again tomorrow night.

...So long as Erin's clan keeps a wary eye out for raccoons.

Day 19 (of Erin-ness)

What is to be said of today?
Graduations happened today. Erin didn't go to them. Mercifully, she got to babysit. Not as though she doesn't love her brother or anything, but graduations are something very closely akin to being water-boarded.

There WAS a delightful graduation brunch this morning however, though the only thing of note was the ice sculpture surrounded by the piles upon piles of breakfast pastries. It was a wonderful sight.

The car remains broken, and Erin's parents are frantically trying to figure out how in blazes they are going to get home. They are currently looking into taking a train. There is no possible way to explain here how rad that would be.

Otherwise the day was uneventful, and Erin's thoughts turned once again to her apartment and her roomies. She gave a longing sigh and then returned to her business of being difficult about stopping off to visit historical locations. And yes, Erin IS a giant child about these things. Monkeys are fun. Science museums are fun. Reading plaques is NOT fun. History Schmistory.

Winter Quarters was cool, however. They got to wander through a pioneer cemetery. It was very awesome, but Erin got very worried about the in-ground gravestones that were getting overgrown with grass and made herself upset because she couldn't do anything about it...

Day 18 (In the style of Erin)

(This was meant to be posted yesterday, but Blogger was down, so you get two posts today.)

The Omaha zoo is huge. Like, really huge. And so Erin managed to convince her family to go back again today so she could see the rest of it.

It was an eventful day.
Erin made friends

Enemies

And even learned the secret to enlightenment.

AND she saw a fish that was THIS BIG!

No, seriously, you guys!

For the first part, the day was pretty calm, and everybody maintained a sense of dignity and composure. Until they entered the jungle dome…

With the jungle growing wild all around them and the monkeys swinging through the trees overhead, the family quickly descended the evolutionary scale…

And returned to the ways of their primitive ancestors.

Order was eventually restored, however, and the family made their way to the aquarium, where they chilled with the sharks and the jellyfish and other aquatic beasts.

Pictured below: Your father

That's right. You.

 Interest in the aquarium waned rather quickly though, because, as Erin so eloquently put it "fish are gay."

Anyway, for her dear Grosland, Erin chased down an ostrich for a good twenty minutes…

"Man, what even IS this thing?!"

And that was it for the zoo. There WAS a bug dome with butterflies, but there were also very large free-roaming spiders in the same enclosure. Erin knew of this and threw an almighty fit to keep the family from taking a trip through that particular area.

And so everybody went home, and then Erin spent most of the evening with two thirteen-year-olds, and she felt very old.

Day 18 (19 really, cuz yesterday blogger sucked.)

Well, there's a lot to catch everyone up on! First, a tribute to Erin's experiences in Nebraska.

Made mostly by Gros.

Anyways, yesterday was very exciting. Let's just say Gros went on a date with Jack Sparrow. She came in afterwards grinning ear to ear and refusing to divulge any details. Beth worked. And was sick. Lame.

Beth and Gros also had cleaning checks! With Grosland's upcoming date and Beth's... being sick... it was pretty stressful. They spent several hours scrubbing anxiously at what seemed never-before-cleaned scum. After much cleaning and hard work and noxious chemicals, they finally submitted to the will of the check. Beth went to work and Gros nervously awaited their arrival.

Which was about an hour late.

And lasted a good 2 minutes.

Needless to say, they passed! And Gros was free to go on her date.

Anyways, now we've caught up to today (Friday). Grosland was sick of hanging around the apartment (like the jobless wretch that she is) and so she grabbed a book and headed out the door. She has a tendency to read while she's walking, so her nose was buried deep in the pages of The Maze Runner as she crossed the street. She therefore neglected to notice that a very large truck was speeding like death towards her . . . .

She glanced up too late - with enough time to realize she was about to die, but not enough time to prevent it. There wasn't even time to scream.

But then suddenly she was shoved out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. She fell backwards onto the grass, her book flying out of her hand. There was a screech of metal on metal, and a manly roar, and then a strange silence. She looked up and saw her rescuer.

He was breathing heavily, standing with his feet apart and his arms extended - she saw that three metal claws protruded from each of his hands. The truck lay in pieces all around him, a confused BYU student sitting in the rubble gawking at the pair of them.

Wolverine looked over at Grosland. Their eyes met. He smiled.

Day 17 (Erin)

Today Erin went to the zoo.

Omaha's zoo is rad and Erin was very excited. As such, she was on her best and most dignified behavior.

 Sooooo dignified

 

She made a lot of new friends today too.

She also beat a tiger in a staring match and had a fine conversation with a group of peacocks. Then she took pictures of owls for Beth.

After that it rained. A lot. The family got stuck inside the zoo's swamp exhibit for a bit on tornado watch. Erin was explosively excited. Long story short, everybody got soaked. All in all, a good day. 

Even so, Erin is still pining a little. She feels quite lame for being possibly the only person who pines for her roommates while she's on vacation getting soaked at the zoo. Only five more days, guys!

P.S. Erin hopes Grosland has fun on her date with Jack Sparrow, and asks that she spare at least a thought or two for her distant roommate who will spend tomorrow evening slitting her wrists in the bathtub as the only man she has ever really loved slips out of her reach.

Day 17

Day Three without Erin. D:

Anyways, Pres. Uchtdorf needed to be getting on with his church stuff, so we were all "cool, Pres, see you on Thursday!" And that was that. Besides the usual school and stuff, not much else seemed to happen. Gros went on an awesome adventure:

The sky is dark and sodden with rain that just won't come. The gloomy figure of a young woman - our protagonist - stalks past a scene of empty-headed zoobies flirting at J-Dawgs. A young man puts his arm around a giggling girl and all parties laugh. Our protagonist snarls and shoves her hands deep into the pockets of her leather jacket. She presses onward.

She has been walking for hours (or maybe 45 minutes) and her patience is wearing thin. She has a terrible mission to fulfill, but the directions of some web-idiot have been leading her in circles all afternoon. She's trapped in a labyrinth of utter pointlessness, wandering in circles and cursing at any male students who try to smile at her. There is no amusement in this hellish quest of hers. After turning another corner and finding herself again at J-Dawgs, she stops and screams at the sky,

"WHERE THE DEVIL IS THE POST OFFICE?!"

...

...

...

...erm, back to you, Beth.

I... Yes! *cough back into 3rd person*

So Beth and Gros reunited that evening to begin their first ever cleaning check. Gros did a masterpiece with the kitchen, and Beth began to vigorously work with the living room. Things went well until they both realized that they may actually need to acquire some hard-core cleaning supplies to actually satisfy their check.

So they took a Macey's run (like usual.) They jumped out of the car and bolted for the store, running (literally) into none other than Jack Sparrow! *gasp* He helped Grosland up with a hurried apology, completely ignoring Beth (who was dressed as an emo man on accident.) He was terribly excited to see Grosland!

"I read that entire book last night!" he said excitedly. Only then did Beth and Grosland realize he was wearing a suit and tie. "So it turns out I can't actually play the guitar," Gros interjects as I type. "Yet." I feel a real kinship with that Nephi-guy. I've thought it over and I'm going to be baptized this Saturday!" (Sorry, you won't be back Erin.) Gros and Beth were, naturally, very excited about this and offered him their congratulations. He invited them to his baptism and they talked about it the whole time they were searching for oven cleaner. It was epic.

Then, just as Beth remembered that Erin wanted them to give Jack her number, he turned Grosland and asked (very sincerely and not-drunkenly) "You have truly changed my life... would you give me the... pleasure of dallying over to a restaurant and dining handsomely with me tomorrow evening?" Grosland stood stupidly with her mouth open for a moment before Beth smacked her. When she'd regained her senses, she said, "Yes! Yes, I'd love to!" (So, naturally, the opportune moment for giving Jack Sparrow Erin's number had passed. Sorry, roomie.) So now Grosland has a date with Captain Jack Sparrow tomorrow. At Pirate Island, of course. And Beth will be spending the evening playing Pick-up Sticks with President Uchtdorf. (Gros was supposed to be at that party too, but Pres. Uchtdorf will understand. He enjoys speaking in German with Beth anyway, and Grosland just gets miffed when they do it around her.) A happy day for all. (Except Erin, who is too busy having fun at THE ZOO for us, anyways.)

Oh. And Beth's belly-dancing continues to improve.

Day 16 (Erin Flavor)

The students of Papillion Jr. High in Nebraska have a legend. The legend tells of a woman so awesome that all who look upon her fall to their knees in awe. The name alone commands complete respect and admiration, though none had ever seen her in person save one. But the great prophet J-bob foretold that this woman would soon walk among them, so that they might revel in the sheer brilliance of her awesome. And now she has arrived, for all to see with their own eyes. This is the legend of Erin Asay.

Or something... Erin is REALLY not sure what her dear niece has been telling her classmates, but apparently she is something of a deity around these parts. She was greeted by a couple of Jordan's friends today who seemed in awe to see that she was actually real. It was almost like Christmas had come early or something.

Erin does not have the heart to tell them that she is actually really really lame.

Anyway, it looks as though Erin has got a heck of a big reputation to live up to this week.
She feels a bit like Tulio and Miguel... Only not as sexy.

Woof. 

On an unrelated note, Erin is rather cross with her dear friends Gros and Beth for not giving Jack Sparrow her number, despite the clear instructions she has given them over and over again. No matter. With the week they've been having, she's quite sure they'll run into him again, and urges them to try not to forget next time... Not as though she's desperate or anything... Just likes to keep her options open.

Day 16

Day 2 without Erin.

Today was similarly awesome to yesterday. I mean, Beth worked and Gros kicked around and learned effin awesome guitar and it was cool. She also made pasta! And her bed. And Beth just... learned... plant names s'more. She also decided not to take summer classes and figured out that if she stands on one foot she doesn't talk excessively (like she's been doing all day about stupid boy-related things. Ugh.)

ANYWAYS. Then, of course, it was time for our play-date with Diete- I mean... Pres. Uchtdorf. He wasn't joking about the lava lamp mall. We spent several hours gazing into neon colored globs of awesome and admiring the various lamps available. The trip was interrupted by an unexpected meeting with none other than Jack Sparrow (Captain.) Turns out he is a lava lamp fan too! President Uchtdorf complimented him on his fashionable bandana and they got into a hefty discussion about the religious implications of the pattern on it. Naturally, this eventually led to Grosland giving Jack Sparrow a Book of Mormon. He said he would read it and left quickly... he seemed a bit uncomfortable. Beth and Gros were worried they'd offended him, but President Uchtdorf told them not to give up hope. Then they got orange julius and counted red and blue cars like in "Up." Pretty awesome. Then Beth and Gros went home and found cookies on their doorstep! They each ate theirs and half of Erin's (cuz Erin doesn't like sugar anyways) and drank some of Erin's milk (cuz it's going bad.)

They miss her terribly. Like sad puppies. Hopefully they will last the rest of the week...

Day 15 part 2: The Erin Saga

Today Erin went to Nebraska.

Turns out that the above sentence is a lot more exciting than it sounds.

So the thing about Nebraska is that there is a very large amount of nothing in it. The only reason Erin's family is going there in the first place is because her brother and his wife are graduating from fancy medical school... which is in Nebraska for some reason.

Mom and Dad wanted to fly out, but 13-year-old niece, Jordan, swore upon her life that she would throw an apocalyptic teenage temper tantrum if Erin was not allowed to come as well (somehow J-bob has got it in her head that Erin is the raddest thing on two legs... Erin is not sure how this happened, because last time she checked, she was really really lame.) That being the case, they drove instead.

The day was long. There were cows. Lots of cows.
The midwest is flat. Erin worries that the lack of mountains will cause her to be sucked out into the emptiness to float back and forth across the plains in an eternal vacuum of pointlessness.

At about 6 PM some guy in a car with a dog pulled level with them and started shouting incomprehensibly and wildly gesticulating. He looked absolutely livid. Erin, Mom, and Dad speculated for a long time about what he could have been ranting about... Turns out one of their tires was low on air. After a gas station stop in West Podunkington, they passed a fast food sign that said "Buy any drink and get a free straw." Dad would not stop. Erin did not get a straw.

The real excitement didn't happen until it got dark. Dad hit a raccoon going a good 85 mph on the highway. About five minutes later the engine started to sputter and the temperature gauge went nuts. They pulled off the highway and ended up in East Nowhere where a random shirtless man stopped to help and told them that their radiator had a huge crack in it. Raccoons, man... They'll mess you up good.

Not as though Erin was put off by any of these events. She likes to take things in stride, and so spent the evening giggling like a loon at the whole situation. Also, she got to ride to the hotel in a police car. It was so totally rad and she even almost got to ride in the cage.

Now the family is chilling at a Days Inn, and will rent a car and continue their journey tomorrow. Erin is far more cheerful than anybody should be in her position. Though she does worry that Mom and Dad might be feeling stressed out. She's trying to help them laugh it off too. Dumb car adventures are meant to be laughed off.

And so ends day 1 of Erin's Nebraska adventures. Not sure if it can get much more exciting from here, but we'll see.

P.S. Erin misses her dear roommates very very much. She nearly cried when Beth sent her a picture of herself and Gros with their new vacuum cleaner. True story.

Day 15

Day 1 Without Erin (who is in Omaha hitting raccoons with her vehicle. She says one broke their car. Quote: "Yes. It cracked our radiator. I'm pretty sure that after that it got up and flew away and blasted some trees with its laser vision.")

Today was pretty dull... at first. Things went as usual. Beth went to work and Gros had no job so she was... fat... all day. Awesome! So, yeah. Then Beth decided we needed a vacuum (cleaning checks coming up and all) so she and Gros went happily to Walmart to get... stuff... like a clock. And a vacuum. And the clock tells time.

ANYWAYS, when they got back they began to play Pirates of the Caribbean on the PS2, when suddenly the doorbell rang and President Uchtdorf came wandering in with a meat lovers pizza and a tub of ice cream. He was all: "hey guys! I remember when you came to sing at the office building for us! That was bomb! Want some pizza?" And we're all: "sure! Want to play Bananagrams?!" and he's like: "Oh man, I love that game!" And so we played for a few hours. 0_o And THEN, after several games and much pizza, he noticed the lava lamp and was like: "whoa, do you guys like lava lamps?" Gros was like "lava lamps are my best friends!" And Pres. Uchtdorf was like "dude, me too! Want some more?! Let's make a lava lamp fan club!" So tomorrow we have a play-date with Pres. Uchtdorf to go get lava lamps and wear our fan-club mouse ears. He has all colors of lava lamps and knows of a lava lamp mall we can visit. It will be good.

And, thus we see, all the exciting stuff happens when Erin leaves. The end.

Day 14

Today was Mother's Day.

Mothers are incredible. This holiday usually serves only to remind us that we can never repay our mothers for what they have done in our lives. They raised us, they loved us before anyone else, they made us who we are. What gift can we give, what words can we say, that could possibly communicate our endless gratitude?

To quote someone brilliant: "All I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."

We're grateful that we live so close to home, and were able to go see/hug our mothers in person. For those of you who couldn't, we hope you at least called them. Because mothers are the best.

There simply aren't words to communicate how awesome mothers are, so I'm going to end this blog post now, before the rambling gets too annoying. I guess the moral of the story is this:

Thanks, Mom.

Not to derail from the sentimental track we're on, but there are a few more things that it's probably important to mention. Okay... actually there's only one... here it is: since Erin is going to visit her brother's family in Omaha for a week, our team is going to be divided for a bit. Grosland and Beth are not happy about this turn of events. Erin is sorry and submits a tentative request that they please not hit her again... But really, we're all a bit somber about it; silly, because it's only a week, but it feels like it's going to be longer. We've gotten far too used to seeing each other every day. Erin will try to have fun, despite the two sets puppy eyes clearly burned into her brain. To make a long story short, the blog posts will be split up for the next week. From one end you'll get Erin's tales of thrilling adventure in the harsh jungles of Nebraska, and from the other you will get increasingly cryptic ramblings typed through gales of tears from the apartment as Beth and Gros try to function in Erin's absence. But... y'know, not really... Erin just likes to think that because she's afraid they'll do awesome things without her.

All will be well. We shall be reunited soon. And now Bananagrams.
Farewell until tomorrow.

Day 13 (Part Erin and Gros)

We were separated for most of the day. Beth was off buying a shrubbery for her mother, Erin was at her grandma's 90th birthday party, and Gros was volunteering at the Provo Marathon with her sister. So it was a day of families, not roommates. Erin and Gros only got back together at the end of it, and Beth just stayed over with her family.

BUT! (if you buy six completos, it's only six dollars!)

We WERE invited to a game night by some guy we'd never met. (His name is David, and he's pretty nice.) Contrary to expectations, we even WENT to the game night!

Yeah. Weird.

We "met" a roomful of people who are apparently in our ward. We didn't stay at the party for very long, probably an hour or so. We played CatchPhrase and bounced balloons around the room. So . . . +5 for Social Interaction!

Oh! And Grosland was reunited with her newest true love: The Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar!!! (*drools*) Today was only the second time she's been able to find it in a store, and she was very VERY excited to be able to partake of its heavenly deliciousness once more. 

Day 13 (Part Beth)

Well... I dunno if anyone is going to be posting... besides me... but here is a post for this lovely blog from Beth... who basically just worked today and... slept in a tad. :D All the way till 8. Yep.

Well... so this morning I did some cleaning... and then... I went to buy a skirt... and then... I went to a nursery with my mum to get some lovely new shrubs! Then... I worked a Zubs. Yep. So... not much to report. Grosland is with her awesome family. Erin is with her awesome family. I'm with my awesome family as well. Happy mothers day!

Day 12

Today we forgot to do a post until after midnight. Hopefully it still counts.

Erin got a game called Bananagrams for Christmas. The game is something like Scrabble. She brought it to the apartment when she moved. Tonight Gros and Beth played it for the first time. The better part of the evening was spent with them fiercely arguing over whether or not certain (made up) words were allowed. No blood was shed. Not yet at least.

Not as though Bananagrams was the only thing that went on tonight. We had a game night of sorts and had some old friends from high school over. We played Apples to Apples for a while too, cause what's a game night without that, really?

Erin is allergic to the apartment. She has not stopped itching since she arrived. Beth's eyes are also allergic. 

On a nerdier note: Erin got her much coveted Dragon Age Duncan action figure in the mail today. For those unfamiliar, this is Duncan:

 He is the raddest of all.
The frequency of Erin's excited squeal upon receiving her action figure nearly shattered the abundance of mirrors in the apartment. Our Megamind poster also arrived. He is lacking a goatee. It is most unnerving.

People keep coming to our apartment to inquire after the seemingly elusive individual named Beatrice. We think she may have moved a few doors down without telling anyone.

Grosland went home to sleep tonight. Beth and Erin are moping, even though Gros is usually in bed by this point anyway... Suppose physical presence makes all the difference...

There is probably more that could be said, but it shall not be said now in the interest of brevity.
Good night, all. 

Day 11

Today, we were actually ALL productive.

No, really!

Grosland finished a bunch of applications to various jobs; Erin went to her doctor's appointment like a good adult; and Beth finished her first bouquet for her Floral Design class. So, in honor of our productivity and being-good-ness, we went to the store and loaded up on gummy worms, Circus Animal cookies, and ice cream.

You can imagine our satisfied smirks.

And the best part of all is what we're working on right now! After much scheming and running around the craft store, we are finally putting together our very own Weasley Clock.

That's right. It'll have a hand for each of our names, and all around the face of the clock - instead of numbers - will be phrases for places we might be. We have put much thought into the specific terms we will be using, and with some black and gold and cream paint, it's turning out to be a rather fantastic timepiece. When we finish it, you  can bet there'll be pictures here on the blog.

(*sigh*) The end of another great day. Being best friends is awesome.

Day 10

Just... this. :)

Tonight we went to "An Evening In Moscow"... which turned out to be primarily about domestic violence in Ukraine...

Still, good cupcakes. Good cause. :) Excellent music. 0_o

Day 9

We do not feel like writing. Here are some apartment comics by Erin and Grosland.

On water temperature:

 

Beth has run to Erin's rescue several times due to the faucets having no happy medium between freezing and scalding.

On backseat gaming:

 

Erin cannot help but "help" while Gros is Dragon-Aging. She is fairly certain Gros is going to murder her for it soon. 

On cooking together:

This is all only slightly exaggerated.

This may become a regular thing. We'll see if it catches on. 

Day 8

 

 These are our guardians. 

Soon they will all adorn our living room wall and smile down upon us, protecting us from the undesired forces of outside male... interference. For now only Jack is there protecting us, but after watching Megamind tonight and unanimously deciding that he deserves an honored place in our collective affections, we somehow reached the conclusion that we needed him and Jareth to join Jack Sparrow on our wall as guardians. So we went on a quick hunt online for posters, and now we've only to wait for them to arrive in the mail. 

Shut up! We had to get them! It was very important!

Ahem... Anyway... Erin and Beth are going to experiment with leaving their computers off more often than not, and seeing how many productive things they can get done without the distractions they cause. So far it's going well. Aside from this evening... Because they needed them to look for posters... 

Grosland was more productive than either of them today. She defeated the broodmother:

And good riddance... Gaw! I feel like I should be censoring this or something.
She also helped choose a new dwarven king. All is good for Orzammar, and plans can proceed for conducting the fight against the archdemon.

Honey mustard chicken for dinner. Simple and delicious. Also, Red Lobster biscuits. Mmmm.

Not too much longer until Gros is free of that stupid morning job and can stay up late with the others once more. We shall prevail!

Night, y'all!