Day 66

Beth opened the door carefully, trying not to drop any of her luggage. She came in, looked around, and managed to drop everything anyways.

"ERIN!" she burst out, trying not to panic. The entire room was strewn with fragments of paper, assorted cold cereals, CDs, tissues, rolls of toilet paper, gummy raspberries, and the torn pages of several text books (which had clearly been used in an attempt to start a fire). The furniture was haphazardly strewn about the room, and several pieces were covered in duct tape, plastic wrap, or both. Erin's head popped into view above the couch.

"Oh, hey! You're back early." Erin looked cheerful enough. Beth gaped at her.

"What happened here!?"

"Well, it all started when Kipper-"

"Kipper?" Beth continued to stare blankly at Erin.

"Well, yeah. Kipper is-" Erin looked around and then shrugged. "He is a goblin. But I guess he's gone now. We were playing a game."

"Uh huh." Beth looked livid. "Are any of these textbooks mine?"

"Oh, no, we were sure to take them from some of the apartments on the other side of the complex," Erin said cheerfully. "Zip didn't know what s'mores tasted like, and-" she broke off as Zip leapt from behind what was left of the TV.

"King outlawed 'shmallows," he said sadly. "Lady was tryin to show us." He looked utterly pathetic about it, and Beth felt any anger she'd had evaporate.

"I... well..." she looked up at Erin with a sly grin. "We'll need more than kindling."

Day 65 (Part Erin)

"Alright, which one of you chuckleheads put ketchup in the shower head?!" Erin yelled from the bathroom. "We don't even OWN any ketchup!"
"Was Zip!" accused one of the goblins from the living room.
"Nuh-UH!" cried Zip. "Was Kipper, lady!"
"It doesn't matter who it was! It was probably Squeak anyway..." Erin called back. "Just knock it off, dangit!" She sighed and finished rinsing out the shower head and screwed it back on. Luckily, she had not actually been IN the shower when she noticed it.
This is just great. She thought to herself. Gros gets a week off and Beth gets to go take hits in San Fransisco and I'm stuck here babysitting goblins. Man, being the tech guy SUCKS sometimes.
She shook her head and exited the bathroom, going into the living room to find that the entire coffee table had been taped over with packing tape. Erin opened her mouth to speak, but then thought better of it. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples while she breathed slowly. When she looked back up, Kipper and Squeak were standing proudly beside the table, blinking up at her.
"See, lady?" said Squeak, gesturing excitedly to it, large ears flopping around as he bounced. "We wrapped the whole thing for you!" Erin stared silently at them for a moment, then gave a short laugh. 
Well...  She thought.  If you can't beat 'em...
"Who wants to have a pillow fight??" she said, seizing a cushion from the couch. The goblins cheered.

Day 65 (pt Beth)

Beth settled angrily into the fluffy white mess of sheets in her hotel room. The day had been a waste of time. She'd managed to lose Diggory after a couple hour's worth of bike chasing the night before and by the time she'd lost him it'd been too late to find somewhere to sleep. THEN, naturally, she'd finally managed to take down her "commission" (a good twelve hours after she was supposed to) and get back on track looking for Grosland. Erin had discovered that Grosland was going to be going across the Golden Gate Bridge at some point that day, so Beth had kept watch on the area for most of the afternoon. Of course, THEN Diggory had managed to catch up with her after several hours vigilant watching on the bridge. To make a long story short, she'd missed Grosland's perusal of the bridge while running and jumping across the rooftops of San Francisco.

Then that evening as she was catching dinner at a diner, Erin had called her.

"Well, Grosland said she's coming back tomorrow."

"She CONTACTED you?" Beth put her face in her hand. "Are you bloody joking?"

"Yeah. She said she'd explain when she got back. Didja get Fred or Joe or whatever?"

"Darren. And yes, at least this trip wasn't a TOTAL loss." The glass in Beth's hand shattered as she clenched her hand around it tightly. The waiter looked disapproving as he drew nearer, but she gave him a look that warned him away.

So, now, she'd checked into the shmantziest hotel she could find, ordered some fine italian pasta, and settled down to stare at the TV. And she felt utterly dissatisfied with herself.

Well, at least everything will be back to normal tomorrow she thought with a frown. We'll all be back in the apartment with nothing to do but sit on the couch. She turned the TV off, settled deeper into the covers and drifted of to sleep with that comforting thought.

Day 64 (Part Erin)

Erin slammed her alarm clock and rolled out of bed, cursing the world. She had slept very little the night before, and the sleep she had gotten had been punctuated by dreams of mazes, ballrooms, and utter frustration. And of course, she woke at least once every hour or so to the sounds of the goblins rustling around, rearranging things, or having sword fights (or at least that's what it sounded like) with kitchen utensils. She was too tired to do anything about it.

She shuffled into the bathroom, flipping the light on and squinting in the sudden brightness. She scowled at her reflection, wrinkling her nose so that the deep, purple bags under her eyes became even more pronounced. She picked up her brush and began to pull it roughly through her tangled mane of hair, blearily taking note of the amount of glitter that seemed to have worked its way through her hair.

Back in her room, Erin picked grumpily through her closet and pulled out a dress. Her pants were all still missing, so she had little choice in the matter.
"I hope you're all very pleased with yourselves," she grumbled.

After fishing under her bed for several minutes and realizing that all of her left shoes were gone, Erin left the house and walked to work barefoot in a very foul mood.

"Hi honey." Erin said into the phone, making sure the young man in the computer lab who had been making passes at her all week was listening.
"... Uhh... what?" came Beth's confused response on the other end.
"Yeah, my shift is over at eleven. Where do you want to pick me up?" Erin said, ignoring her.
"Yeah... okay, whatever. Just let the poor sap down easy... Anyway, I still haven't tracked her. They said they were visiting Alcatraz today, but I haven't spotted them. Anyway, it's hard to see anything in all this rain," said Beth.
"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you then," Erin replied. "I love you too." Then she hung up the phone and gave a very pointed look at the young man, who had been staring at her, but turned quickly away and slumped slightly in his chair. She turned her attention back to the screen, where a series of maps were laid out. Beth's red tracking dot blinked steadily on her map of Alcatraz, but Grosland's was nowhere to be seen. She was beginning to worry. Still, she could not focus on this right now. She closed the laptop, shook some glitter out of her hair, and put her forehead down on the desk.

Erin didn't remember leaving work, or even walking home, but she vaguely recalled stumbling into the apartment and collapsing on the floor. The next time she was aware of anything at all, the sun was starting to go down. She pushed herself off the floor, trying to ignore the pounding in her head, as well as the dusting of glitter on the carpet that she was quite certain was going to get them in trouble during their next cleaning check. She wandered into the bathroom, once again hearing the giggling and scuffling in the background. She sighed and glanced in the mirror, where she noticed that some very juvenile things had been scrawled and doodled all over her face in marker. She groaned and started to scrub it off in the sink, as the giggling picked up again from behind her.
"Just tell me what you want!" she cried out, face dripping with water and ink. "I just want to know why--" Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. She paused as a sudden stillness fell over the entire apartment and the air seemed to fill with a sort of electricity.  She shivered, goosebumps rising all over her skin, then spoke quietly, voice wavering. "I wish--" she said, " I... wish--" she could not say anything else.
Not yet... It's not time. Wait for the others...
Erin nodded as the thought entered her head, almost as though it had been whispered to her....


.... and then she was really really tired and didn't want to write anything else, so she fell asleep face down on the couch after eating most of a three pound bag of saltwater taffy.

Day 65 (pt Beth)

Silence fell over the compound as she pulled to a stop. Beth looked around, trying to keep herself from panicking. She knew that voice.

"Hello Beth. Funny that we should meet again under these circumstances." He walked slowly from the shadows for an unnecessary--but nonetheless extremely cool--effect. His dark eyes met hers and he smiled.

"Greg?" she asked softly.

"Alas, no. I've no idea where my brother is at present," he shrugged nonchalantly and walked towards her. "Don't you remember me?"

"If you aren't Greg... I don't think I've seen you before in my life," Beth tried to sound casual, but she revved up her engine, preparing to make her escape.

"Alas, you are incorrect," the character leered. "You've met me many times. I've just never bothered to introduce myself to you properly. You were satisfied with who I was pretending to be, so I saw no reason. However, seeing as you've placed yourself into less... worthy associations, you leave me no choice but to make myself known to you." He had come forward now, and had placed a hand on Beth's handlebar. But she was too transfixed to leave.

"Who.... who are you?"

"My name... is Diggory," he said softly. "And I'm sorry to say this... but I've come to kill you."

Day 64

Erin stood up from the couch and stretched. She had been there all evening immersed in her work and eating salad from a bag. Depressing evening to say the least, but what else was she going to do when it was just her and the empty apartment? Beth hadn't called her for a while, which probably meant she was still pedaling towards San Fransisco. Erin decided to leave her alone for the time being; it was hard enough to bike long-distance without talking on the phone. A sudden scuffling  brought Erin out of her thoughts. She froze, scanning the room carefully for the source. When it did not start again, she closed her eyes and rubbed them with her palms for a moment, heaving a sigh, then pulled the band out of her hair and walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

 As soon as she shut the water off, Erin heard the noises again, louder this time: a squeak, followed by a frantic scrambling sound. She peered slowly around the shower curtain and, seeing nothing, grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around herself. She stepped carefully out of the tub and peered through the door into the main body of the bathroom where the sinks and mirror were; still nothing, though she swore she heard giggling, followed by a hasty shushing sound from somewhere. She furrowed her brow and snatched up a can of hairspray from the counter, wielding like a weapon.
"Alright!" she said aloud. "Whatever you little creeps are up to, knock it off. I'm not afraid to use this!" She brandished the hairspray. Another snicker, then a pained squeak.
"Ouch! Hey!" a small, voice hissed.
"Lady is going to hear you if you don't shoosh!" scolded another voice.
"She already heard you," said Erin impatiently. "Why are you here?" Nobody answered. Erin scowled and glanced around the room, suddenly realizing that the t-shirt and shorts she had laid out for herself were gone.
"Come on, you guys! Those are my favorite shorts!" she said in annoyance. Still no answer, so she shook her head. "Whatever. It's not like I don't have other clothes." Clutching her towel around herself, she went across the hall to her bedroom and picked out some new clothes. However, when she opened the drawer that usually contained her jeans, she found them all to be missing. She bit her lip in frustration, but maintained her cool. She was not going to let the goblins win.
"Jokes on YOU! My roommates aren't home, so I am in no way obligated to wear pants! HA!" she exclaimed, eye twitching, and strutted back into the living room in her drawers. She plopped back down on the couch as a disappointed "Aww man!" sounded -- almost inaudibly -- from somewhere in the apartment. She smiled smugly to herself and leaned over to retrieve her laptop and tracking equipment from the floor, placing one hand on the coffee table to support herself. She straightened up and began to work as she had before. It was several minutes before she realized that her right hand was covered in glitter. The color drained from her face as she glanced slowly around to see that the coffee table was also dusted with glitter, as was a good portion of the carpet. Erin's heart skipped a beat, then began to pound loudly, drowning out all thoughts of her work. Hands shaking, she reached for her phone and dialed Beth's number.

Day 64 (pt Beth)

Beth pulled the binoculars away from her face, eyes narrowing.

He should've come out by now...

The heat was almost intolerable--not to mention the humidity. The reasonable side of her kept suggesting she get on with the mission, but she couldn't do it. Suddenly she saw one of the library doors open, and she ducked down again, pulling the binoculars back up. She grinned.

Gotcha.

Her phone began to vibrate, so she pulled it out, still keeping an eye on the men that were leaving the library.

"Hey."

"Have you found her yet?" Erin's impatience was clear over the line. "It's been several hours."

"Not... no. Not yet," Beth said impatiently, shoving the binoculars into her belt and creeping across the roof, still keeping track of her targets. There was a moment of silence over the phone--interrupted by the sound of Erin typing into her computer.

"What the- Beth?! You aren't even IN San Francisco."

"I know, I got sidetracked," Beth grumbled, strapping a rope to a baluster and sliding down to the balcony below. The men were almost to the van. Erin snorted loudly.

"Stop stalking the poor kid. Even on your bike you'll have a hard time getting to S.F. before Grosland changes locations."

"I know!" Beth said defensively. She'd made it to the ground and was sprinting towards her bike. The van had started off.

"Is that even allowed? I'm sure his mission president would disapprove--not to mention your commanding officer. You know he doesn't like you overly-attached types. Not to mention it's super creepy. It's not like you can even talk to him!"

"Aww, just..." Beth watched the van turn a corner and sighed. "Yeah. I guess. You're such a buzzkill."

"It's what I'm here for," Erin said cheerfully. "Now about San Francisco..."

"Yeah, I'm going, I'm going." She looked around with another sigh. Santa Cruz was nice. She'd have to return later under... different circumstances. She revved up the bike and sped off, trying not to feel too sorry for herself.

There were important things to do... finding Grosland the least of them.

Day 63

Beth burst into the apartment after a bit of lock-fiddling. It was empty and dark, which was only to be expected considering it's Sunday-ness. She set about putting her things away and tidying up the front room for no general purpose. (This is what weirdos do for fun.) She wondered absently when Grosland would return from her house.

Then her heart stopped. (This can happen because she is a vampire.)

Grosland wasn't coming back. She had been threatening to leave all week for San Francisco... and then she'd actually done it that morning. Not wanting to take in this realization, Beth ran crazily into the back rooms to assess the situation.

Bed made. G19, gone. Pickaxe, gone. Contact solution, gone. Grosland... affirmatively gone.

Beth shooed away several of the pigeons nesting on Grosland's "roommate" bed, and sat down on it to gaze up through the skylight. "Well, at least I should've asked her how to work the bloody time machine," she thought sadly. It was hard to believe that Grosland was actually... gone. I wish- she thought longingly.

Suddenly she heard a crash from the front room. She krept towards the bedroom door, softly opening the dresser next to it, and sliding out another handgun. She listened carefully. When there was no further sound, she threw the door open, diving for the ground, gun in place. The room was empty. She held still for a moment, checking for further movement. Then she eased up, still training the gun on the empty room.

"Who's there?!" she called out sharply. She heard something scurrying behind the couch and a soft giggle. "Hello?" The noises continued--but there were more now. She heard something in the kitchen turn on the sink, and saw the blinds twitch. Heart pounding, she eased along the wall, still trying to discover the source of the noises coming from behind the couch. "So help me, if this is some kind of stupid trick-"

"Beth?" Erin walked in, carrying her laundry. Her flamethrower was strapped to her back. "Who're you talking to?"

"Shh!" Beth put a finger to her lips. "We've got some kind of poltergeist." Erin was quiet for a moment, cocking an ear. When nothing evidenced itself, she shrugged.

"He'd better not fiddle with my computer again. It took me weeks to remove every trace of Panda porn from the system last time." She plopped down on the couch. Beth watched carefully to see if anything came out of it, but nothing seemed to happen. The noises had disappeared.

"Weird. I just heard a crash and some weird noises out here. And something turned the sink on..." she walked into the kitchen to turn it off and froze. A goblin was balanced on the faucet--trying haphazardly to stuff several utensils into the food disposal. It looked up at her, grinned, and jumped past her.

"Erin, we have a goblin!" Beth shrieked. But the goblin ran into the front room, dove for the front window, and disappeared into the night. The two girls jerked the window open and looked out, trying to fathom where it had gone in the darkness. Then they both pulled inside and looked at each other.

"Huh," Beth said softly. "That's the first time *that's* ever happened." Neither could figure what it meant...

Day 61/62

Loud bangs and hammering noises were coming from behind Grosland's bedroom door. Beth and Erin ignored them for a few hours, but when Grosland still hadn't come out by 3:00pm, Erin asked, "What do you think she's doing in there?"

Beth looked up from her Dragon Age game, and glanced towards the bedroom. "Well," she admitted, "I'd hoped she was patching up that giant hole in her ceiling, but I doubt that would have taken this long."

They stared at the door a while longer, listening to the clanging of metal on metal. Then Erin said, "Suppose we should go check on her?"

Beth sighed. "Fine."

They put down their laptops and walked hesitantly toward the door. Erin raised her fist as if to knock, but Beth pushed past her and walked straight in. They both stopped immediately on the threshold.

The remains of their stolen spacecraft were spread throughout the room - which was still brightly lit from the alien-created 'sun roof,' which Gros had apparently not repaired. The main hull of the ship was propped up on several concrete blocks, and a pair of stubby legs that could only be Grosland's were sticking out from underneath the ship. As they watched, there was a minor explosion in the craft, and Grosland rolled out from under it coughing, her face smudged with grease.

Erin said, "Grosland, what are you doing in here?!"

Grosland coughed some more, then looked up at her roommates. They could see that her eyes were wild and frantic. Something must be terribly wrong. Grosland spoke in a raspy sort of panic, "I have to go back and fix it. I'm sorry. I made a promise - I'm so sorry!"

They stared at her. Beth said, "For an English major, you sure have some communication problems. What are you talking about?!"

Grosland looked around, fidgeting, then finally burst into a confession. "Last night, you went to your Dad's house, Beth, and Erin went to have a sleepover with her Mom because she was all alone and I promised that I would do the blog post because all I was doing was hanging out at the apartment by myself. But then I was watching Evita and eating ice cream on the couch and the musical was so epic that I totally forgot about everything else and I just went to bed without doing a blog post at all! When I woke up this morning and realized what had happened, I just knew I had to make it up to you guys, and then I realized that we still had this old ship and if I just added a few modifications I was sure I could turn it into a time machine so that I could go back and write a blog post and then everything would be fine!" She gasped for breath.

Beth and Erin had their mouths hanging open, completely incredulous. At last, Beth said, "It's just a blog, Grosland."

"But I promised!" Gros wailed.

"It's okay!" Erin was quick to soothe. "We don't mind. Honestly. You're our friend, Grosland. We understand that you just forgot."

Grosland's eyes and nose were running. She wiped a sleeve across them, and her face was now an indescribable mess. "Really?" she asked.

"Sure," Beth said, grinning. "Besides, I lie to you all the time. Like when I told you the doctors had done a radical experiment on me when I was a baby because my parents were too poor to afford the labor surgery."

"That wasn't true?!" Grosland asked, shocked.

"Hey, guys! I just realized we need to go buy groceries!" Erin interrupted, trying to ward off the impending argument. "Who wants gummy raspberries?"

Grosland and Beth both snapped their heads toward Erin, completely forgetting themselves. They raised their hands and jumped up and down in the air. "Ooh! I do! I do!"

So they went to the store and got gummy raspberries and all was well. And the time machine was never built or used to bring pet dinosaurs to the apartment or anything like that, ever.

I promise. ;)

Day 60

Beth made a face as she took a swig from the cup Grosland had given her. A tense moment later, she leapt up off the couch.
"Wow! Thanks, Gros! I feel completely better!" she said happily.
"Awesome!" Gros replied, "I can't believe I got it right!"They both looked down at the floor as Erin began to stir.
"Did it work?" she moaned, looking blearily up at the other two and pushing herself into a sitting position.
"You tell me," Beth grinned. Erin stared at her for a moment as Gros went about cleaning up the living room.
"Beth...?" Erin said slowly, looking quite worried. "Are you supposed to be glowing like that?"

Day 59

"Do you really have to do that?" Beth slurred as Erin and Gros danced wildly around the cauldron they had set up in the living room. Gros scowled.
"We're doing this for you, y'know. You could be a little more appreciative," she said.
"No... I mean... I'm happy you're trying to make me better, but... the dancing. Can you... not?"replied Beth, pressing her face into the couch and moaning.
"You can't NOT dance when you're making a potion, Beth," Gros said sternly.
"Watching you spin is making me nauseous... too many colors."
"Oh," said Erin, looking concerned, "do you want us to stop? It helps with the magic, but we don't need to do it if it's making you feel worse. Should I go make you some juice or a panini or something? How about something to put on that terrible rash? I've got some stuff in our room if you --"
"Naw... s'okay... woah..." Beth said, suddenly seeming far more distant than she had a moment ago."I think I can... hear the colors... they sound like... Michael Boulton... "
"It should only be a few more minutes. It just needs a chunk of your hair and then to sit for a little bit... If we did it right it ought to be enough to cure you of your rocket fever." Said Gros, ignoring the oddity of Beth's statement and leaning over the pot to stir it.
"Here, take it." Beth said, sitting up, grabbing the scissors from the table, and hacking her entire ponytail off. She brandished it at Gros and Erin who exchanged worried glances.
"Hurry it up... I think we're losing her," muttered Erin. Beth laughed loudly, shaking her head so that her now short hair whipped around her face. Erin took the ponytail from her and gently pushed Beth back down and told her to close her eyes. Beth continued to giggle, but obliged. Gros shrugged, taking the ponytail from Erin and dropping the entire thing into the cauldron....

Suddenly, before the story could come to any sort of real conclusion. Erin passed out from exhaustion, leaving Gros standing in the living room with a cauldron, an unconscious roommate, and a roommate who was out of her mind with rocket fever.
"Well..." she said aloud to herself, nudging Erin's inert form with her toe. "I can't wait to see how this one turns out."

Day 58

Grosland placed the cup into Beth's hands, bent the straw, and stuffed it in her mouth. Then she sat down, her blue eyes wide with concern. After a moment Beth's eyes flickered open. She managed to focus on Grosland's face, and grimaced.

"This is your fault, you know," Grosland said haughtily, standing up and getting some pizza. "I'd prepared for weeks for the level of radiation we experienced up there." Beth closed her eyes again and mumbled around the straw.

"I dunno why Erin isn't sick." Grosland looked suspiciously towards Erin, who was drawing on her tablet absently. "It's a bit suspicious, don't you agree?" Beth mumbled again and tried to drink the juice--which slipped from her hand. Gros tsked and picked up the empty cup. Beth groaned and rolled over to hide her face.

"It should only last today. You'll be fit to work tomorrow," Gros said cheerfully. It wasn't clear whether or not she was pleased with Beth's condition. "And you'll just have to trust my notes next time." Beth muttered something that sounded vaguely profane, and Gros pursed her lips. "Now that's no way to thank me."

"Besides, now you'll have an easier time when we go again next time," Erin said brightly, continuing to scribble. Beth didn't answer, so she continued. "I mean, besides being airsick the entire time. You need to think before you do things, dear." She began to whistle through her teeth. Beth rolled over again, looking slightly livid.

"I-" she opened her mouth and began to dry-heave onto the carpet. The other two gave her pitying looks, but left her alone. There wasn't much of anything in her stomach to worry about anyways.

The Bowie poster continued to smirk.

Day 57 - Returning

The apartment door slammed open and Jessica Grosland stormed inside, fuming. She was wearing a silver jumpsuit of some kind, and as she walked in she threw down the helmet she had been carrying under her arm. She stomped through the living room loudly, not seeming to care about the neighbors in the apartment below them.

Her roommates entered the apartment a few moments later, Erin tailing behind just a bit, looking wary. Beth, however, seemed just as angry as Grosland. They weren't wearing silver suits, but instead had on tight black outfits of mixed leather and spandex. Erin dawdled at the door, but Beth followed Grosland, shouting, "What was I supposed to do? Huh?!"

Grosland turned around, her jaw clenched. "You weren't supposed to do anything. That's the point!"

"Well, forgive us for trying to rescue you!" Beth said. Erin shut the door quietly and stood watching the pair of them fight for a few minutes, then slinked around them to the couch, pulling her Mac onto her lap.

Beth was still shouting, "- come home to find your bedroom ceiling blasted through, the whole place covered in rubble, and I was supposed to do nothing?!"

"I left a note!" Grosland said.

Beth laughed harshly. "Yeah. A napkin with three words scrawled on it -

'ALIENS.

love, Gros'

- doesn't do a lot to reassure a person!"

Grosland had turned around in a huff, throwing her hands in the air. Beth stayed where she was, shouting even after Grosland had gone into her room. "Now we've got an intergalactic war on our hands, Erin and I were almost killed, there's a flaming crater in the street outside - you think the owners aren't going to notice that? - and it's all your fault!"

"My fault!" Grosland burst out of her room again. Her eyes looked like they were made of blue fire. "I've been setting up this abduction for months! Do you know how much paperwork went into this? I was actually on a spaceship, living a dream I've had my entire life, and it was all blasted out of the air with one shot from that laser cannon of yours."

"We thought you were in trouble!" Beth said, the concern in her voice completely overwhelmed by her frustration. "It wasn't just a joyride for us! We had to drive all the way down to Area 51, steal a rocket, and fly into space to come find you. We could have been killed!"

"You would've been fine if you'd have just stayed right here!"

"Hey, guys?" Erin interrupted, holding up a finger politely.

"I missed six days of work because of you. I'll probably lose my job!"

"They were taking me to their home planet, Beth!"

"Guys?" Erin said, looking at her computer screen with increasing alarm.

"We should've left you on that ship!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"

Erin suddenly bellowed in rage, the sound bursting from her throat like a demon from Hell. Both Grosland and Beth shut up immediately, looking over at her in shock. When she was finally done, Erin glared at the two of them, who looked rather fearfully back at her. "Will you two forget about alien kidnappings and intergalactic war already? We have a real emergency on our hands!"

Beth and Grosland looked at each other once, then back at Erin, completely serious now.  "Of course," said Beth, at the same time Grosland said, "What is it?"

Erin pointed at her screen urgently, her eyes wide. "We haven't done a blog post in a whole week!"

The other two blinked in unison, staring at Erin, expressionless. They blinked again. They looked at each other, and both of them furrowed their brows in irritation. Beth shook her head. "I've got to go call my boss," she said angrily. "And then maybe, you know, the FBI."

"Well, I don't suppose there's anyone who's taking my calls anymore, since my roommates 'accidentally' blew up the entire Nisa'an royal family," Gros spat back. "So I guess I'll just go to my room and look at the stars. You know, from EARTH."

As she was stomping to her room, Beth called sarcastically after her. "At least you don't have to open the window. You can see the sky through the giant hole in your ceiling!" Grosland slammed the door. Beth huffed and then went into hers and Erin's room, closing the door with enough force to knock the clock off the living room wall.

Erin stared after them for a while, still seated on the living room couch. She looked out their balcony window and saw the ship they'd landed in, still smoking in its crater twenty yards away. She sighed heavily.

"Well, as usual, it's up to me to take care of the blog" she said bitterly. She started to type. "What would these guys do if it wasn't for me?"

Day 50

Well... that was anticlimactic. 50 DAYS, PEOPLE! D: Already! Where does the time fly?

Day 49

Dear Jareth,

Today was Sunday. We did... pretty much... Sunday things. Beth took a 3 hour nap. And studied plants. She loves playing piano for primary children. :) Then she had way too much fun reciting scripture mastery and The Living Christ in Scottish brogue. For a long time. While she was brushing her teeth and everything. No life at all, I'm telling you...

Luckily, she's not the only one this blog is about.

Erin got married. He is very attractive. They brought all their children to the apartment and Beth didn't expect them. She grudgingly listened as Erin was spiritual and had to turn the sound off her computer as she had been watching stupid youtube videos. Woe. Is. Her. But it's ok, because Erin's husband is very attractive. As previously stated.

Grosland (Jessica) took watermelon to sick Keziah. (Our Next Door Neighbor.) It was kind of silly, but she can't cook so there was nothing else she could bring. (Not that we're bashing not-cooking-abilities, mind you. Beth and Erin have every respect for her.)

Happy Sunday! Beth has one more final tomorrow and then ... it's officially summer. She will not be in school for the first time since she graduated high school.

Day 48

Erin and Beth rolled out of bed at, like, 10:30am - which is ridiculous for both of them. (They never sleep past 9:00am, whereas Grosland has been known to sleep until 2:00pm.) Beth ran off to campus for a botany study group; that's code for "a bunch of students walking around, trying to identify every tree they pass by." Erin played Dragon Age - SURPRISE!!

Grosland was still in Springville with her family. She went to the Art City Days parade, where she watched a bunch of marching bands, people on horses, karate academies, roller derby women, fire trucks, and pretty girls on colorful floats. Then she and her family went to the carnival, to feast on the world-famous Art City Day scones.

And whom should she meet in the scone line but Beth and Erin! AND the internationally acclaimed redhead, Miss Aubrey Devereaux. They ate scones and drank limeade and talked about the rules of abbreviation. (For example, you can use the word "Barbecue," or the abbreviation "BBQ," but the shortened word "Bar-B-Q" is completely unacceptable.) Once the limeade was gone and everyone was full of honey buttery goodness, they parted ways again.

BUT Beth joined Grosland and family for fireworks this very night! Greg the Stouthearted was also in attendance. They sat on a wall and watched things explode in a good, American fashion. Then Beth went to her parent's house to spend the night, and Stouthearted Greg generously offered Grosland a ride back to her apartment.

Ooh! AND he offered all three Jareth Chroniclers some delicious Canadian chocolate bars. Thanks, Canadian Greg!

Day 47

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH

HWHHHOOOOOOO lives in a pineapple under the sea?!?!?!

BETH AND ERIN

PUnch drunk and nerdy and porous are we?

BETH AND ERIN

If nautical nonsense be something you wish...

BETH AND ERIN

Then prepare to listen to us rant about DRAGON AGE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!  WE did NOT spend the last... extra... hour... watching... youtube clips from the game....

Beth and Erin
Beth and Erin
Beth and Erin

Beth aaannddd ERIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!  HAHAHAHA!

*noseflute*

He he.  Today we learned about Odinsleep... He he...

We're going to... Bethsleep and Erinsleep...

Day 46

Nothing really happened today... *sigh* ...

Y'know what? NO! Today was NOT boring! All SORTS of crazy things happened today!

When we last left our heroes, they were dangling over the edge of a cliff, left there to die by the evil Doctor Villain as he left to unleash his ultimate weapon -- the boredom ray-- on the world. Fortunately for them, Beth's utility belt came pre-equipped with an anti-gravity button for just such circumstances. They emerged at the top of the cliff and headed into the forest, searching for the secret entrance to Doctor Villain's secret villain hideout. Using the talent gifted to her by the forest guardian, Erin called upon the woodland creatures for aid. They arrived -- a flock of sparrows, two deer, a fox, and a bear -- and told Erin that it totally wasn't worth it to go after Doctor Villain anyway, since he's totally lame and his plans never work anyway. Erin relayed this message to the other two, who nodded in agreement and abandoned their search. Then they went off to play laser tag with the bear and his buddies from college. Turns out bears are way into laser tag, and their dens are all underground arenas. Erin, Gros, and Beth lost miserably to the bears, but the defeat was quickly forgotten when Gros challenged the leader of the bears to an arm-wrestling match to win back their honor. She won, of course, and the trio all high fived, and then high fived the bears, and then they all went out for frozen yogurt.

Day 45

Let it first be known that Erin is completely out of her mind with a cold and should not be typing this. That said:

TODAY Grosland was productive. She worked on applications and then went and cleaned a house for money. Also, about five seconds ago, she rolled backward off the couche (going to leave that there because... Just because.) and then she and Beth tried to climb the walls in the hallway.

Erin spent the day on the couch, coughing her lungs up and playing Dragon Age 2. Today she screwed up very badly and then had to slaughter an entire clan of elves. It was very depressing, and, being very delirious, she cried because it was the same clan that her character from Dragon Age: Origins came from. It was kind of a pathetic day for her.

Beth did the usual school and work BUT THEN she took the evening off and she and Erin did nothing. Then her brother, Andrew, came by cause he was bored and they had a grand old time. Talking. About things. Funny things.

And then Erin fell asleep multiple times while writing the post AGAIN, and brought it to a hasty conclusion so she could go to bed. Tra. La. LA!

Day 44

Today Beth went to the doctor. And Erin sat and pathetically coughed from the couch. And Gros was productive. She stopped being productive at 2. And there was a guy outside with Alist-hair. Which Beth is starting to dislike. But that's ok, cuz he is actually attractive. Beth had blood drawn for the first time. She is so proud. :D And Erin is still sick. And Gros is awesome as can be. And then we watched 21 Jump Street. And then we played Dragon Age 2. Pathetic.

Beth resisted the urge to make this a run-on sentence, because Gros would glare vehemently at her from the other room.

Day 42

FHE tonight. We played Capture the Flag with nylon balls of flour as paintball-esque weapons. It was epic, to say the least. Grosland took several shots to the face/teeth whilst Erin developed a habit of falling to her knees in surrender when hit. (Responsible Beth, sadly, was not there. She was at a work meeting.)

The best thing about today was that we realized that we really have friends in the ward. YAY! We had a great time with Matt, Andrew the Grey, Andrew the White, David, and Javid (pronounced "JA" - as in Jack - "vid"), Phil, Garrett, Brittany, and of course Brother Barlow. AND David taught Gros and Erin the 181st Ward's Birthday Song:

Happy Birthday to you! (clap clap)
It takes me back to those good old days.
Happy Birthday to you! (clap clap)
You sure grew out of your baby ways.
Happy Birthday to you! (clap clap)
It's your birthday, wish you many more;
Health and wealth and FRIENDS BY THE SCORE!
Cut the cake and let's eat some more.
Happy Birthday to you! (clap clap)

It is considerably more awesome than just singing the boring normal version. Plus, it's upbeat and involves fist-pumping. What's not to like?

The 181st Ward is bomb. Just so you know.

Day 41

Hurray for another week at the 181st Young Single Adult ward!

...Actually, Grosland was the only one who went. Again. Poor Erin was down-and-out with her cold, and Beth, of course, is going to her home ward while she works on her mission papers. (She's the Primary Pianist right now, and keeps bursting into choruses of "SCRIIIIIIPTURE POWER! Keeps me safe from SIIIN!") But Grosland got to go, and it was much fun, as usual.

Beth DID return in time for the ward "Break the Fast." She and Gros went (rather cautiously, as they had never been to one of these before) and found out that it is a FANTASTIC idea. They had lasagna, many casseroles, spaghetti, grilled chicken, and all sorts of baked goods. Among those baked goods was a chocolate birthday cake, because tomorrow is Bishop Bourne's birthday! (He is a capital fellow, and well deserving of cakes and songs.) We have decided to bring manly muffins to the next Break the Fast, because this time we were rather unprepared, and ended up bringing a box of Ritz crackers.

Ward Prayer was great. (Seriously, it's impossible to convey through words just how awesome this ward is. Every activity is a party, including and especially ward prayer.) They've finally finished construction on the pool here, so it's been announced that we'll be having lots of grill/barbecue parties in the coming summer days. Also soccer games, Ultimate Frisbee, and a much-anticipated Toga Party. (We're not really sure how that's going to work, what with us being Mormon and all, but it sounds like fun anyway.)

Gros has switched back and forth from third-person to first-person, so she's going to end this post now - before she gets kicked out of the English major club. (They revoke your grammar-bat privileges. It's truly horrible.)

Day 40

Today was interesting, mostly because we were all delirious from the combined effects of slumber party hangover, waking up too early, and having nasty colds.

Gros was horribly disfigured today in an incident in which her family's cat jumped on her face while she was sleeping on the couch. There was blood everywhere and it was terrible and it's probably going to leave a huge scar and she's going to have to wear a mask like the Phantom of the Opera for the rest of her days... Or maybe she just got a small cut on her forehead. Whichever version you like better.

Beth learned to snap today. She was at work barking orders at people (like a boss!) when she accidentally snapped her fingers. She had never ever been able to do it before. It was a miracle.

Erin got herself dragged to the mall by a high school friend, and was reminded painfully (over the course of about four hours) of how she is apparently not an actual girl because shopping makes her want to claw her face off.

Eventually they all met up back at the apartment, mumbled a few incoherent things at each other, and then shambled off to bed.

Day 39

Tonight is the Relief Society sleepover at our bishop's house. (WHaaat?) We're excited for such a ridiculously awesome event. :D

They announced this activity in a combined meeting - meaning that the priesthood brethren got all giggly and sneaky-looks, which the Bishop must have anticipated - so we've come to determine that it's a big setup. I don't know whether to expect the scene from Mamma Mia (Mormon style):

or from 7 Brides for 7 Brothers...

or even something from Pirates of Penzance. (This would be awesome, actually. Alas.)

In anycase, tonight should have been a musical. But I guess we'll see. Wish us luck at being social! :)

Day 38

Today ended with strawberry milk. :)

And this:

Day 37

As girls, we have spent most of our lives complaining about how dumb and oblivious boys are. It's basically all there is for girls to talk about in high school. However, today Erin got to see what it's like to deal with girls from the guy's point of view. See, Erin is currently on her third playthrough of Dragon Age: Origins, this time playing as a dashing young man called James. James is deeply in love with Morrigan.

 ...even though she is mean and gets angry at him whenever he mentions love... He is very devoted to her, and would do just about anything for her. Then, of course, there is Leliana.

James looks after her, and loves her like a sister. He often brings back little trinkets from his travels for her, and checks up on her to make sure she's doing alright.
Today Morrigan approached James to tell him that she was not okay with him dating Leliana behind her back. James was very confused, and told her that he was NOT dating Leliana, but that he'd "break it off" with her anyway if it would make Morrigan feel better. When he spoke to Leliana, she seemed under the impression that they had been in some sort of romantic relationship, and seemed very upset that he was "breaking up" with her. Bewildered, James tried to respond in a way that would not upset her more. He just nodded and confirmed her inquiries that Morrigan was his one and only. She seemed understanding enough...
Leliana Disapproves -15

"WHAT?! FIFTEEN?! Gaw! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to lead you on, I was only trying to be nice! Why are women so confusing?!" Erin cried out in frustration. Gros gave her an odd look from the other couch. Erin looked back at her. "I think I kinda understand men now... We should probably go apologize to them for calling them oblivious morons all those times..."

Aaaaaand that's what Erin did today. She's a depressing nerd, so we're going to move past her now.

This evening we went to meet up with some friends from high school who had organized a game of Ultimate Frisbee. Grosland was the only one who played. Erin and Beth sat off to the side like losers, then went to go explore the forest for a bit, then came back and sat off to the side like losers some more. Grosland, however, owned the game and everyone playing it with her impressive and violent skills. She won the attention of the many fine young men there with her frisbee finesse, and scored many a point for her team. The best part was the spectacular dive Gros performed as she leapt for the frisbee. She landed full on her stomach and skidded, then leapt right back up and kept running. Even though she didn't catch the frisbee, her display was truly worthy of applause. At least Erin and Beth thought so, as they watched from their grassy patch of lame. Grosland's team won, of course.

And then they came home. And Erin passed out on the couch in the middle of writing this post and is only now dragging her carcass to bed... Good NIGHT